MOTHAFUCKIN' BOOZE TIME

[naut]

Avoid cocktails. Expensive and usually more potent that you'd think.

If you don't know much about wine don't drink it. Cheap wine can give you the worst of hangovers.

Vodka lime and soda is a good bet. Sugary mixers can often make you feel worse.

[individualzero]

Thanks, folks! I'm really not brave enough to try anything harder than some light mixed drinks. To be honest, for my first time, I just wanna see what getting drunk feels like, and 'test the waters' so to speak -- you know, see how much I can comfortably drink. I'm thinking of grabbing a six-pack of beer, preferably a kind that doesn't suck, and taking it home with me.

I am moving away from all my friends and will be too far to party with them, so I'd pretty much be drinking alone. Given that the only places to feasibly do that are a bar or at home, I think it's best if I do it at home (and that way I don't have to walk home drunk the first time I drink).

[kristin]

Just let us all know when and we can start a thread about it and all get drunk with ya.

[individualzero]

Sounds ridiculously fun.

Just don't let me get on Twitter or something. That could be disastrous.

[libertine]

As for beer, chances are good that if its advertised on TV its fucking horse shit.

Quoted for truth. 

Lots of good points have been brought up here:
-HYDRATE UP. 
-Don't mix your alcohols; mixed drinks will be less potent (good for first timers) but stick with one base, don't hop from gin to vodka to tequila, etc.  Don't alternate with beer.
-Dessert drinks in moderation. 
-I believe you can sneak a shot of vodka (or whatever) in with a couple of beers, just not 10 beers and 5 shots. (Same applies for milk-based shots).

There are a lot of good points in this thread.  Don't let yourself get beer balls, and think you can handle a lot, because truth is, you can't.  Your body does not defy science, but three beers in, you will think it can, which leads to projectile vomiting off of some person's porch. 

Be with people you trust.

One last thing, don't eat spaghetti if you plan on getting to the puke point.  I still get teased about that.

Love,
the resident drunk

[sin]

My first "legal beer" was a six-pack of Belhaven, which was ten bucks for a six-pack (definitely "special occasion" beer.  I didn't drink anything beyond that and had a fine 21st.

[Nadia]

So I turned 21 in April and I have yet to have a drop. We're moving to a town that's pretty much 90% bars, 10% people and I get paid that week so I may go lose my booze virginity.

Any tips for a first-time drinker?

I wish I would have asked this when I turned twenty-one. My friends took me out and I just (falsely) assumed that they would help me out. Instead they just made sure I had one of every kind of drink. Now I see that my P.I. friends would have said NOT to mix drinks, which I found out the hard way.
Also, the bar tender, because I told him it was my first time drinking, assumed it was my Birthday (had he taken it upon himself to card me he'd have seen that it was three months passed) and gave me all of my drinks for free. So of course I had to have a little extra.

[r00]

As long as you can keep your cool in any situation, no matter how much you've had to drink, then you're okay.

Yes this.  True wisdom.

[tim]

Ignore all advice so far (except Dust's).

Drinking alternate beers and double shots helps you keep a good pace up, and also helps you remember how much you've drank (it's easier when you're effectively counting in twos rather than in ones; if this doesn't make sense right now it will after your eighth pint).

Start as you mean to go on. I started drinking proper beer and whiskey. Never did me any harm.

Downing Guinness will impress your friends. See also: Tequila Stuntmen.

If you can't down 568ml in less than 10 seconds, there is something wrong with you.

Don't keep secrets, that way you have nothing to fear when you're drunk.

Having to get home while drunk will provide you with a repertoire of stories for when you're too old to bother with all that nonsense.

[Nadia]

Don't keep secrets, that way you have nothing to fear when you're drunk.

This one is my favourite.

[Stariki]

Ignore all advice so far (except Dust's).

Drinking alternate beers and double shots helps you keep a good pace up, and also helps you remember how much you've drank (it's easier when you're effectively counting in twos rather than in ones; if this doesn't make sense right now it will after your eighth pint).

Start as you mean to go on. I started drinking proper beer and whiskey. Never did me any harm.

Downing Guinness will impress your friends. See also: Tequila Stuntmen.

If you can't down 568ml in less than 10 seconds, there is something wrong with you.

Don't keep secrets, that way you have nothing to fear when you're drunk.

Having to get home while drunk will provide you with a repertoire of stories for when you're too old to bother with all that nonsense.

Jeez! You are a prick Tim LOLZ!

[chimera]

Spoken like a true Limey, I'd say. 

[kristin]

Last night was a shitstorm of beer, wine, and rock band.

[Aaron]

I'm pretty sure it makes me white trash to be buying this. However. I'm drinking Jeremiah Weed. Lightning Lemonade. And it isn't bad... And really, the only reason I bought it. Cuz it said Weed. Not gona lie. It also says its a "Premium Malt Beverage" Ya. I'm white trashing it up...

[r00]

What does that Jeremiah Weed taste like?  Is it just normal bourbon?