FOOD THREAD

[Aaron]

Pecan pie has like 500 per cup and just a bit less per slice (if you cut the pie into 8 slices.) But ya, stupid calories...

Well how do you cook the chicken thighs and potatoes? Cuz I need some cheap but nummy foods.

[individualzero]

Because pecan pie has like 900 calories a slice. Seriously, look it up, it's something ridiculous like that.

Holy shit...

[boom]

Well how do you cook the chicken thighs and potatoes? Cuz I need some cheap but nummy foods.

Cut up potatoes into 1 inch chunks, throw in roasting pan with chicken and season liberally (I mean LIBERALLY, season the shit out of it) throw in a few tablespoons of butter, cover and bake at 375 for about 45-50 minutes.

[Aaron]

Cut up potatoes into 1 inch chunks, throw in roasting pan with chicken and season liberally (I mean LIBERALLY, season the shit out of it) throw in a few tablespoons of butter, cover and bake at 375 for about 45-50 minutes.

Cool i will have to make it soon. What do you use to season it?

[individualzero]

An ordinary moment becomes a FUCK YEAH moment when that moment is filled with three-cheese mac and grilled chicken n' apple/gouda sausage.

[Aaron]

We have cuties at work, clementines and they are stupidly good. I have replaced meals with them... So good. Easy to peal to. 

[Aaron]

Cut up potatoes into 1 inch chunks, throw in roasting pan with chicken and season liberally (I mean LIBERALLY, season the shit out of it) throw in a few tablespoons of butter, cover and bake at 375 for about 45-50 minutes.

I made this tonight. It was amazing. Thanks so much. I'm really impressed with how good it was. I'm gona make this a lot. Cheap, and stupid nummy.

[r00]

anything involving chicken and potatoes is big time comfort food for me.  yum.

[Aaron]

Ya. I'm making more soon.

I love how cheap potatoes are. STUPID cheap. I bought 10 pounds for 2.50... I think I'm gona start eating a lot more potatoes...

[chimera]

I mean LIBERALLY, season the shit out of it)

A PI cooking show would involve liberal amounts of profanity.  And potatoes.

[Aaron]

A PI cooking show would involve liberal amounts of profanity.  And potatoes.  And booze.

I fixed that for you!    (I really think it would turn out something like My drunk Kitchen.)

[luna]

profanity, potatoes and booze are always readily available in my kitchen!

[boofu]

A PI cooking show would involve liberal amounts of profanity.  And potatoes.

A PI cooking show would involve liberal amounts of profanity.  And potatoes.

Fuck you and Get a job Chili 

2 pounds ground beef 80/20, we don't suck dick around here do we? If you want 93/7 go to trader joes you dipshit or start a fucking drum circle. Not in my fucking house. My fucking rules.
1 pound Italian sausage. Chicken. Pinko commie fucks in my house don't like pork. IT TASTES WEIRD EWWW SHUT UP HOW THE FUCK IS CHICKEN SAUSAGE SOMEONE EXPLAIN THIS TO ME. WHY DID I PAY $5 FOR A ONE POUND ROLL. I COULD HAVE GOT FUCKING PORK SAUSAGE FOR 49 CENTS. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU
1 Onion please dont fuck this part up
2 green or red peppers. or yellow. Whatever
3 or 4 or even 5 cloves of garlic. Who is really counting at this point
5-6 cans beans. black beans, pinto beans, gorfuckingbanza beans. It doesn't really matter. If it looks like a bean, and it comes in a can, great. You fucking win. If you really want to be a douchebag and use dried beans....get the fuck off of my internet. If you want Chili without beans, I will find you and stab you in the fucking neck with a sharp black bean can. Don't fuck with me.
2 fuck off big cans of tomatoes. I like to get the Italian seasoned. Saves me some fucking time and they taste better, ok
1 can of diced tomatoes with HABARENO HABRENAOR BRHA FUCK YOU SPELL CHECK THE HOT HOT PEPPERS THAT ARE LITTLE SHIT peppers. This is important
2 cans diced green chilis (Find them. Are you a mexican or a mexicant NO excuses)
1 Frozen Bag of Corn
1 6 oz can of Tomato Paste. If you are wondering why you need Tomato Paste in chili, please find the largest rock you can find, and bash yourself in the head with it you little fucking twit.
1 6 pack of IPA. I prefer New Belgium Brewery's IPA. I forget what it's called, Arrow something, but it's fucking delicious. Light yet hoppy.
2 TBS WISCHERTER FUCK YOU SPELLCHECK SAUCE GOD DAMN IT
2 TBS Hot Sauce. By Hot Sauce, I mean Cholula. If you have to ask, die in a fucking fire
1/4 or 1/2 Cup Chili Powder. Put it on until it hurts
1 TBS Paprika. The normal kind. Don't be a faggot and use 'Smoked'. NORMAL FUCKING PAPRIKA OK. If I offended you by saying the word faggot, what did you expect by the time you were half way through this fucking recipe?
Little bit dried oregano
Little bit dried basil
4-5 Beef Boulin or whatever the fuck cubes. Honestly I just peel these little shits and throw them in until I get tired of peeling them. Who the fuck decided to wrap these in red paper? fuck you.
Salt
Pepper

1. Put the fucking hamburger and the fucking CHICKEN  Sasuage in a fucking pot. Cook it

2. Drink 1 (one) bottle of the IPA

3. Put the Onion and Peppers into a food processor because who really wants to chop shit. That's women's work.

4. When the meat products are half way done cooking, dump the vegetables that you just food processed the shit out of directly into the pot with the meat. At this point, season with salt and pepper. I don't know why I wait to put the salt and pepper on at this point. It might be because at the end of the day, I really don't know what the fuck I'm doing.

5. Get FUCKING CARPAL TUNNEL BY OPENING UP 20 FUCKING CANS OF SHIT YOU HAD TO BUY TO MAKE CHILI. MY WRIST STILL FUCKING HURTS

6. Drink 1 (one) bottle of the IPA

7. By this time, the meat should be cooked through and the peppers and onions and garlic should be soft. Oh, I didn't say in step 3 to put the garlic in? WHY THE FUCK WOULDNT YOU

8. Process the cans of tomatoes and the paste and the green chillis. Who wants chunks of shit in their fucking chili.

9. Drink 1 (one) bottle of the IPA

10. DONT DRAIN THE FUCKING MEAT.GREASE IS OUR FRIEND AND WHERE THE CHILI DERIVES ITS POWER FROM. GREASE FOR THE GREASE GOD 

11. Dump in the tomato chili sauce water shit now and simmer

12. Dump the beans in and the bean jizz. DONT DRAIN THE BEANS GOD DAMN IT

13. Drink 1 (one) bottle of the IPA

14. Throw in half the bag of the frozen corn. Throw the rest away, because who the fuck eats corn.

15. Start putting the seasonings and sauces in. I don't really measure, I just put measurements to make you feel better about yourself as a person. I just throw the spices and hot sauce and wishtehrefuckyou sauce on, mix it up and taste it. Like it? GREAT! YOU WIN AT CHILI AND LIFE. I APPRECIATE THE SACRIFICES YOU AND YOUR FAMILY HAVE MADE FOR THIS CHILI UP AND TO THIS POINT. Don't like it? Put more fucking spices on it until you do.

16. Drink 1 (one) bottle of the IPA

17. Pour the final bottle of IPA out for your dead homies into the pot of chili. You need to play NWA or Early Ice Cube at this point. This is mandatory or the chili won't taste right.

18. It puts the beef cubes in the pot. It does this whenever it's told. It puts the beef cubes in the pot or else it gets the hose again. PUT THE FUCKING BEEF CUBES IN THE POT

19. Simmer

20. Simmer some more. You really can't fuck up chili at this point. Let it cook all fucking day, who really cares. It will be better.

Enjoy hot, dethawed out of your freezer 6 months later or even cold. Throw it at your annoying fucking neighbor. Eat it and hate it. I don't give two shits what you think.

Sour Cream, Cheddar Cheese and Cheez-it crackers (NOT SALTINES  ) optional but highly fucking recommended.

Best fucking chili you will ever eat.

[chimera]

Now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout, homeslice!   

[kristin]

that was awesome.