YOU didn't need assimilation, WE were an insular community that required a certain amount of... je ne sais quoi (I assume I'm missing accents and my spelling is off, so you have my apologies there) before we ... assimilated people. I don't have a better word for it. It was the proof that you're one of us.
As to not being able to charm you, I'm not suggesting you were a bastard, I'm suggesting we were ALL kinda on the defensive about new people, so being a charmer put us on higher alert, I feel.